UFC Fighter Re-Enlists With U.S. Army So That He Can Fight ISIS

You know, watching UFC fighters kick and punch the stuffing out of each other on TV, you’d be forgiven for wondering whether there wasn’t a more productive outlet for all that violence and aggression. After all, these guys seem like some of the most dangerous dudes of the planet, with limbs that double as lethal weapons, and a killer instinct that makes them a veritable force to be reckoned with. They’ve got the skills and stamina to be like real-life superheroes, so you wonder why they settle for fighting in tournaments when they could be out there patrolling the streets and combating criminals: just like Batman or Daredevil.

Or even better, you wonder why these guys aren’t being parachuted into dangerous places to deal with the enemies of the free world one knockout punch at a time. Imagine if we sent Conor McGregor to the North Korean peninsula. If anyone could avert nuclear war by delivering an ass-kicking, it’s that guy.

So if you’re a fan of the UFC then you’ll probably be pleased to know that one of the Ultimate Fighting Championship’s best middleweight fighters has decided to retire from mixed martial arts and take the pain straight to ISIS. Bona fide Rambo Tim Kennedy said stated that he’s re-enlisted in the US Army Special Forces to combat terrorism in the Middle East, and taking a look at his record, if I were a fundamentalist terrorist, I’d be feeling pretty damn scared right about now.

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