Dating is always a gamble, no matter who it is you’re seeing – whether it’s a crush you’ve harboured for months or a random Tinder meet-up, your first impressions count for a lot. You can’t help but observe the numerous personal habits of the other person and imagine whether or not you can stomach them months, or potentially years, down the line. But how do you know that the person you first meet is going to stay that nice as time goes on? You could go on a date with someone who appears to be your ideal partner, but who later turns out to be a complete control-freak psycho.
Luckily, there are more than a few common red flags that seem to crop up very often in those who don’t make suitable lovers; enough that internet-users in polls and forums have actually managed to boil them down to the bare essentials. If you’re dating someone and you spot any of these behaviours, it might be a hint that you need to get out of there.
1. Someone who wants to celebrate multiple anniversaries
If you’ve only been going out with someone a month, and they want to celebrate your month-long anniversary, run. If you’ve only been going out a week and they want to celebrate your week-long anniversary, run faster. This is your first big hint that this person is too clingy and wants things to move way too fast, or that they want to attach themselves to you right away.
2. They make enemies easily
Someone who constantly complains about their colleagues at work, or who blames their family members for arguments, or who falls out with their friends routinely, and never thinks that they’re in the wrong, is almost certain to be hostile, antagonistic and quick to pick faults with others. The best relationships function when both parties are able to accept their faults and work to better each other. People who view every difference of opinion as an excuse to roll their sleeves up and hold a grudge will never compromise, and likely alienate you.
3. They’re obsessed with their ex
If someone is dating you, they should pay you the common courtesy of paying you the attention you deserve, and if their exes are constantly hanging over your relationship like a bad smell then it’s likely that their heart just isn’t in it. We’ve all got hang-ups when it comes to people we used to date, but living in the past and pining after people who have moved on is never good. You don’t want to spend time with your significant other wondering if they’re fixated on the one that got away.
4. Excessive texting/calling
If someone texts you constantly, leaves hundreds of voicemails and private messages you when you’re away from the phone, that’s a pretty unambiguous indication that they have abandonment issues and are way too needy. Yes, it’s always sweet to get a message from someone you like, and we can all be a little guilty of being a bit too chatty. But if the messages are relentless and give you no room to breathe then it’s a big indicator that they want to micromanage you and expect the entirety of your attention at all times.
5. Rude to the waiter
This warning sign always comes up, but that’s because it’s always true. If someone is rude to a waiter, or unpleasant to a bartender or belittles anyone who serves them, my advice is to get out of there early. Anyone who’s ever been at the nasty end of an irate customer knows that people who explode at staff like this are just pretty bullies. It’s like Sirius Black says, “If you want to know the measure of a man, look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.” The way that someone treats service personnel is more often than not a very accurate look at how they’ll treat a partner six months down the line.
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