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As far as making headlines goes, men from Florida are in a class of their own. Not only do residents of this state have access to more firearms than residents of any other American state, but this is not the only reason we are mentioning this. Weird, outrageous headlines like these are what we’re discussing. We figured the best way to ring in the year 2022 would be to compile a list of 10 insane headlines that show Floridian men are a special breed. Would you like to be shocked right now?
Number 10: The Bacon-Related Arrest of a Florida Man
Has anyone ever been taken into custody for having a temper tantrum over bacon? That’s probably a pretty typical occurrence in Florida. After receiving reports of a “disturbance,” Cape Coral police arrived on the scene promptly. As expected, they found a shirtless man shouting at the Waffle House staff about how badly cooked his bacon was. The man is currently behind bars on charges of DUI and resisting arrest. While it may seem strange to be arrested over bacon, it serves as a valuable reminder to keep bacon from getting under your skin.
Number 9: A Disaster with a Crossbow
Stolen crossbows are unusual because they are difficult to conceal and could cause harm if used while evading capture. Of course, Darren Durrant of Florida is an exception to this rule. He got away from the store without anyone noticing, but they eventually determined that he was the one who had stolen the crossbow. The insanity? He secretly stowed it away in his underwear. In case you were wondering, you didn’t misread that. What a monumental fail, hiding a crossbow down his pants. The antics of Durrant have shown us that it is possible to conceal a crossbow in one’s underwear, even if doing so puts one at risk of bodily harm. He slipped out of the house undetected (the crutch was a nice touch), but the police eventually spotted him in the restaurant parking lot. Unfortunately, he was apprehended and incarcerated rather than freed from jail for his attempt.
Number 8: An Unclothed Bodybuilder Lifting Weights
Just picture your 62-year-old neighbor banging on your door naked with a barbell. That’s not unheard of if you end up in Florida; just be ready for anything. When Larry Gardner smashed a neighbor’s sliding glass door, an angry onlooker confronted him. When Gardner’s neighbor confronted him, Gardner made a death threat. Gardner put down the barbell but later picked up a metal pipe and threatened his neighbor while standing near his house. Gardner was arrested for assault and armed burglary after he was finally taken down by two good Samaritans. Unusual for a Monday night, for sure.
Number 7: A Florida Man Has Seen Spider-Man 292 Times
Reading about Ramila Alanis and the world record he broke will make you reevaluate your status as a Spider-biggest Man fan. After being defeated in 2021, he made it a personal goal to reclaim the record in memory of his late grandmother, whom he considered to be his greatest fan and source of inspiration. This guy dropped over $3,400 to watch Spider-Man: No Way Home 292 times. Sure enough, 292 times in total. In addition, Alanis may have already memorized the dialogue and the screenplay because the requirements for the record state you must watch this movie without doing anything else, including using your phone, going to the restroom, or sleeping. Wow, that’s quite a sum for the honor of holding such a title. It took him about 720 hours (30 days) to watch the movie 292 times while juggling his personal life and work obligations, but he did it and set a new world record in the process! Is this something you’d try?
Number 6: Driver Wrecks Supercar Because of Lack of Experience with the Stick Shift
It would be terrible to buy a high-end sports car and then have it totaled a week later. Sure enough, that’s exactly what transpired with Robert Guarini. His seemingly ordinary day took an unexpected turn when he wrecked his 2006 Heritage Edition Ford GT. The car was not brand new, but he had just purchased it at an auction for a whopping $704,000. The police questioned him about what happened, and he claimed he didn’t know how the stick shift functioned. Later investigations revealed that Guarini had a suspended license and hadn’t bothered to register or insure the new vehicle. His car was totaled in the collision, and he was cited for driving on a suspended license and without registration or insurance.
Number 5: A Florida Man Publishes Videos of Himself Making Bombs
In addition to its strange theft and robbery stories, Florida is well-known for its colorful residents. Someone randomly uploading a video of themselves making a bomb shouldn’t shock anyone who lives in Florida. The answer is yes, that really did occur. The 32-year-old Romeo Xavier Langhorne was caught in the act. The prosecution claims he even made an allegiance oath to ISIS. He responded by posting a video tutorial on explosives construction in the hopes that it would be useful to the crew in their pursuit of whatever goal they had in mind. He was apprehended by an undercover FBI agent posing as an ISIS official. Langhorne received a life sentence because of this.
Number 4: Naked Florida Man Wields a Machete at Another Man, Trying to Rob Him
Naked men with robbery intentions are an everyday occurrence in Florida. If you’re planning a trip to the state or even considering relocating there, keep this strange event in mind. When a naked man demanded the surveyor’s clothes, wallet, and phone, an otherwise ordinary day took an unexpected turn. All of us were caught off guard by the sudden appearance of this naked man. The naked man threw a machete at the worker who gave him what he wanted, then hopped in a car and headed to the nearest gas station. In spite of being attacked with a machete, the surveyor escaped with only minor wounds. The Florida police were able to apprehend the naked assailant after he yelled at passing motorists and performed a comical push-up display. The police then arrested him for attempted robbery while armed. Yet it was later learned that this man also struggled with mental illness. Indeed, a fascinating situation!
Number 3: After Hurricane Irma Hits Florida, a Man Wakeboards Behind a Truck
Yes, you read that right. It has been proven time and again that the men of Florida are always up for an exciting adventure. They make their living (or at least this guy’s) off of amusing other people. Several people saw a man wakeboarding on the streets behind a truck right after the devastating Hurricane Ian hit the central west coast of Florida this past summer. The man’s surfing antics went viral, and he was cheered on by onlookers everywhere. One user said, “Nothing is more American than this,” which summed up the general tone of the comments. However, another user’s remark about the sprinklers being on at the golf course in the background rose to the top of the comments.
Number 2: With nothing but a cowboy hat and a machete, a naked man attacks a woman.
To the point where any mention of a machete or a naked man may make you think of Florida, where such things are apparently commonplace. Suppose you’re out for a bike ride when all of a sudden a naked man appears out of nowhere and attacks you with a machete. It’s hard to believe, can you? However, after this, nothing seems out of the question in Florida. A 45-year-old man named Roberto Hercules attacked a woman who was riding a bicycle in the streets. Hercules hit and chased after her with a machete after she refused to give him a crack pipe she didn’t even have. The woman attempted to escape Hercules by fleeing on her bicycle, but Hercules still hit her several times with the club. We can count our blessings that she made it. Several hours later, the police discovered the attacker sleeping in his cowboy hat and underwear. In addition to aggravated battery with a weapon and attempted murder, he was also arrested on charges of attempted armed robbery.
Number 1: A Florida Man Sends Rent Money to a Scam Artist
Irritating as it may be, nothing beats having to pay rent every month, especially if it’s a lot of money. But what if you discover that the person you’ve been paying rent to isn’t actually your landlord? This is what transpired with 19-year-old Isaac Aviles, who was duped by a person posing as the home’s owner. Three months later, he learned that the man he was paying $1,200 per month to was actually a rental scammer. He only communicated with the purported landlord via phone and never actually met him. The 3-bedroom Orlando house seemed like a good deal, perhaps too good, as the actual rent is double what Aviles was paying. Scams involving real estate are all too common in Florida and elsewhere, so be on the lookout to avoid becoming the next victim.
What shenanigan do you think is the craziest committed in Florida?
Leave your comments down below.
